Lie to Me...and I'll probably know it by the look on your face
I don't know if the TV industry will bring back the television show, "Lie to me," based on the works of a doctor who identified at least 300 universal facial expressions which he calls, "microexpressions."Not a big television fan, I streamed some Netflix and found this program, and began watching it with much...familiarity.
As some people know this is my personal blog, and the real fight is taking place over on "KVHD under Fire." This is where the lying and deceit is being parsed day by day, by me. For almost five years I've fought for justice against something worthy: a hospital district.
In doctors we trust? It's not really about doctors or an afternoon soap opera, though at times it has dipped to that level, but it's been about lying to a community.
After all this time I learned a few things, one being that I CAN see when someone is lying. The problem then becomes about why, as Dr. Paul Eckman, the creator of this sorta science of reading people came to the conclusion in his studies.
I've watched hours of video one frame at a time, and have been able to catch many of the expressions delineated by this human investigator.
Luckily, in my case, I have been able to watch and match the expressions to the topic and begin the research from there.Being lied to by groups of people who are covering for one another creates issues in capturing the truth in the lie, but it's been a good lesson, that I found I already knew.
I don't know how things got so out of hand at the hospital, as I didn't see this coming, I wasn't looking for any lies. In fact, I was in the opposite condition: I trusted implicitly.
The feeling when you find out you're an idiot who is walking around half asleep is unpleasant, but at least then you can wake up and throw some coffee.
Dr. Eckman made a point that we can be trained to read these expressions, and in fact, he went thru all the trouble in his research to consider mimicking of television or art, so the good doctor went about working with the famous anthropologist, Margaret Mead. He went into jungles and found these same expressions that show fear, anger, "deciet, and so forth.
He noted in his research that children who were abused were likely to be "naturals" at lie detection--no need for wires and graphs, it's written all over our faces.
I made up my own system prior to reading up on the "Lie to me" information and it has been effective. I won't tell you as I don't let anyone know when I catch them lying. I wait to see what it is they are lying about first, look for a motive, and move in.
Learning to shut up has been my biggest problem, I give things away. But I realize that I can purposefully feed information just for a reaction and within that reaction is the where I begin my hound dog ways.
The kids were stealing
I worked at a convenience store one summer while my mother was dying of cancer and I took care of a child whose parents were on drugs, and it was boring. I was falling asleep, being poked by customers to wake up. My drawer was never right. Then after a couple of months, September arrived and the schools started filling up, and when the classes were over, they came to the store.
Oh boy, the first day I was awake enough to realize I had more than 20 kids in the store, not knowing what they had or what was happening, it was a wave of puberty all around me.
And the kids were stealing. The owner told me to only allow three kids in at a time, which seemed like an answer--but it was a boring answer. I had a few ideas.
After a few days of these thieves coming in and out with their stolen goods, I watched them closely and began to make a list of suspects.
It couldn't be the one armed kid, he was off the list immediately due to trouble and of course I felt sorry for the loss of his limb. I then realized that I couldn't just judge them, say the clothes they wear, or a nose ring, so I treated them all very well.
Guilt. I used that as I treated all the suspects with respect and I was helpful, happy, joking with them. Some just left and never came back, they couldn't take it (kind of a pun there).
Next I decided I needed more information as I hadn't solved the problem entirely.
When school left out one day, the signs on the doors of the store read: "If you're stealing, then you have a problem, please go to your local mental health clinic as soon as possible to get help. The management."
The kids who were not stealing, at least I assumed as part of the hypothesis, laughed when they saw the sign, and even brought friends over to read it.
Other kids were blushing and looked sheepish, so I made a new list.
Then I met a couple high school students who I offered the position of "deputy" to help me catch the thieves. I had them both put their hands on the counter full of California Lottery Scratch off's and they made their oath. In return I bought them snacks and sodas. They told me about all the kids, not only their stealing ways, but their home lives, school chums, and in the end...it was the kid with one arm.
He cleaned our clocks.
I never turned anyone into the police, it was worse: they had to listen to me lecture for a long time. And they had to repeat back to me what they had learned to avoid possible charges. I did have to call one parent as one child couldn't handle the lecture and ran for the high ground.
Children lie to protect themselves, and then there are those who lie and cannot help but lie. I have one person I watch regularly lie on video who gives off signals all the time. However, he's an inveterate liar, and they begin to believe what they are saying which makes it tougher to discern the truth from the lie.
When I was raising a seven year old, he hated me. I could tell without looking at him when he was lying. I remember one night I sent him to shower while I was writing on the computer, and he came out about the right length of time, but he blew it.
First thing he says is, "wow what a hot shower." He doesn't like his showers hot, so he lost by opening his mouth at all. I said without looking, "go back and take a real shower." Acting offended, he said, "I already did."
Then I turned around and looked down at his filthy legs below the towel, and he stomped back off to the shower.
He lied to his teacher, a big rich lie too, something about not having anywhere to do his homework the fault being his substandard living conditions, and my work shift. Well, you can imagine, I showed up for school each day for a week and sat next to him in our 3rd grade desks. No more phone calls from the teacher.
I'm really enjoying, but sad to see this television show, Lie to me, may not be back, but it will forever be part of my newest and latest techniques to battle against those such as in government or business, or other scams, who are destroying the trust that is so important to all of us, everywhere.
